Steve Bannon, executive chairman of breitbart news, a website for the "alt-right" was caught again trying to have sex with ol' bessie in the middle of Mayberry town square. Local law enforcement were called to the scene to apprehend Bannon. Witnesses from the scene confirmed Bannon's passion for the animal and said, “he just loves that cow” and “I think that's the third time this week!”
Local Sheriff Andy Taylor was one ofthe first officers on the scene, and wasn't a bit surprised by Bannon's love for bessie, “That's just how Steve is. Sometimes he has a little too much to drink and does some silly things. It's kinda funny actually” said Taylor. He continued, “I'll take him in and put him in a cell, let him sleep it off. He'll be just fine.”
In contrast Deputy Barney Fife remarked, “This isn't right! It's a cow for god's sake! Don't we have laws against this kind of stuff!?”
Fumbling with a single bullet kept in his top pocket, Fife was visibly shaken when he left the scene. Sheriff Taylor and local idiot Gomer Pile were seen trying to calm Fife.
Bannon spokesperson Sean Spicer, while addressing reports said in Bannon's defense, “haven't you ever loved an animal so much you just had to have sex with it?” The reporters in unison replied “no”.